Anyhow, ya, now if somebody expected me to blog about stuff I do, and found no such entries on my blog, they would possibly conclude that I didn’t do anything. Which would sometimes be very close to the truth. But other times it would be exactly the opposite.

So whatever, here goes a rapid fire style summary of my travels over the past 3 months for anybody who’s interested:

Where: New Orleans, LA
Why: Mardi Gras!

So it was the weekend before Mardi Gras proper, but still pretty much crazypartytime down in the Big Easy. Got a lot of beads. There’s no shortage of beads, it literally fills the streets like snow. Every single parade (and there’s tons of them) toss ‘em out like they’re going outta style. It’s like a special currency that applies only to the streets/clubs of Bourbon Street for those few weeks leading up to Fat Tuesday. And by “currency”, I mean you give it to someone to indicate your physical attraction towards them. They might smile back at you, they might show you their boobies – it’s not exactly pegged against a gold standard :P Even girls give it to guys, I distinctly remember this one cute parade-thrower girl atop a float who I charm-smiled, and she pointed right back at me and tossed me some beads. Oooh yeaah, that’s right :P

Saw quite a bit of nudity – which is not necessarily as pleasant as one might expect. The world could be divided (among numerous other divisions) into those who I would (on a purely physical level) want to see naked, and those who I would not. Although a few members of the first category did oblige the crowd’s thirst for flesh, waaay too many people of the latter category did so also …Aaaand we’ll never speak of that again.

I was so close to Kevin Costner (captain of one of the parades) that I could have thrown something and easily hit him. For The Postman. :P

I saw a whole group of people living in tents underneath the interstate in the shadow of the Superdome. I think they’ve probably been there since Katrina. That’s a long time to be living in a tent. Under a highway. In the United States of America.

Oh, I almost forgot about my dance-off with a random chick in this open-air pizza place on Bourbon St. So I’m standing in line, and Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” is blaring on the sound system, and this girl comes up behind me and wants to dance with me. Except instead of dancing with her, it was more of dancing at her. We had like a classic dance-fight, imitating each other’s movements with increasing complexity. She was actually cute too. And drunk. Definitely drunk…

Where: Austin, TX
Why: 6th Street nightlife

So I haven’t exactly been to every corner of the Lone Star state (yet?), but I’m already going to say that Austin is the coolest place in Texas. Not only cause it’s like the tech capital of the south, but also cause it’s got an attitude, atmosphere, and aura (alliteration ftw!) that’s decidedly more edgy and liberal than say Dallas or Houston. The 6th Street area of downtown (akin to Calgary’s 17th Ave. or Edmonchuck’s Whyte Ave., only way better) is really cool – just like a row of bars, clubs, and restaurants all together, goes on for blocks. You don’t like the place you’re at? You’ve got a dozen other places within 1 min. walking distance.

So we didn’t realize how big of a deal the Austin marathon, held that weekend, was going to be. Apparently it’s a big deal. We had to switch hotels three nights in a row cause everything was booked up by marathon runners. Hah, but I used the race to my advantage! Using my real backstory when talking to randoms at like a club isn’t always that interesting for me, so I just pretended I came down from Canada just to run the marathon. This was an especially amusing story when telling people the night before the marathon (which started at like 8am or something) at like 2am (”Uh yeah, you know… I never sleep the night before a marathon…”). It might sound bad, but I really don’t mind lying to random people about random crap like where I’m from or what I’m doing, especially if it makes conversation easier. I guess I can be a real douchebag sometimes :P

Speaking of which, at one point my travel buddies convinced me (liquid courage goes a long way) to march up to and start a conversation with this one girl who was pretty much the best-looking lady in the entire club. Turns out she was already married, haha. But hey, that made it a lot easier. I probably talked to her for like 10 min. They were very impressed. I’m not sure if she was being legitimately friendly or just too nice to tell me to piss off, but either way it was a good boost of confidence.

There was also this one other pretty brunette who I’m half-sure would’ve gone home with me (euphemisms ftw!) if I’d asked her, which I didn’t. Yup, the ol’ marathon man story goes a long way… :P

Three dudes sharing a bottle of wine at a fancypants restaurant earned us the comment from the waitress that we must be “very confident in our masculinity”. Hah, my buddy replied with a joke about us being on a “man-date”. I didn’t realize blended wines even existed, but apparently they do – it’s like a mix of white and red, ends up being a pale red colour. And surprisingly good, and I don’t even really like wine that much. Next time I have to buy wine for something, I’m gonna look for it.

I walked around downtown Austin, under the lights of the Texas Capitol building, for like an hour by myself in the middle of the night. It was cool. Oh, there’s also this awesome building in downtown Austin (Frost Bank Tower) that totally looks like something out of Gotham City. Apparently it’s supposed to look like an owl? Whatever.

Where: Dallas, TX
Why: Stars vs. Canucks

We didn’t get to see too much of Dallas, but it reminds me a lot of Calgary.

It was good to see a live NHL game again. I really hope Flames and Stars face off in the playoffs so that I can go watch a game I actually care about. But still, the game was pretty exciting with 3 unanswered goals being traded back-and-forth in sequential periods before Vancouver sealed the deal. There was a penalty shot too, which is always cool to see live.

The American Airlines center is so much nicer than the Saddledome it’s not even funny. I realize now why the Flames ownership talks about a new stadium, albeit quietly.

Caught the tail end of St. Patty’s day celebrations, in that the streets were trashed and all the drunk people were wearing green.

The one cool club we saw in Dallas was “Purgatory”, with multiple, differently-themed floors following a pattern you can probably guess already (”Heaven” at the top, etc.) It was pretty gangsta though, I distinctly remember being on the dance floor, the only white guy within sight, trying to get my funk on. Hahaha, oh man, it’s even more funny cause I’m definitely white even for a white guy. Being Canadian doesn’t help, we’ve got zero street cred down here.

Speaking of which, classic “yup, I’m white” moment at said club: this song comes going on about “my dougie”, and my friend says aloud to me “What’s a dougie?” This black guy turns to us and goes “It’s a haircut”. Which may actually be true in some local jargon, but I’m pretty sure he was screwing with us. Haha, can’t blame him, I probably would’ve done the same. “Toque? Uh yeah… it’s Canuck slang for a hamburger. Ask for it at any Canadian restaurant, they’ll know what you mean…”

Where: Cancun, Mexcio
Why: Spring Break!

It’s been several years since I was last in Mehico, but this is way different. Cancun is one of those superamazingnice places in the world that floats in its own plane of existence. It amazes me to realize that 30 years ago there was nothing there but a small village and a few hundred locals. Today, it’s over-commercialized and overrun with Americanism. Still, even though it was super-expensive, it was a fun trip.

Our hotel was pretty pimp, we had like a jacuzzi on our balcony overlooking the ocean. Private beach was nice too, the water is that postcard-perfect turquoise colour and definitely the warmest ocean I’ve ever experienced in my life.

There were actually way fewer white people than I was expecting. I figured hey, spring break, it’s gonna be overrun with American college kids. Sure there were lots of em, but not nearly as many as I was anticipating. Lots of wealthy Mexicans though.

I can’t even remember how many different clubs we went to. “Senor Frogs”, of course, although I wasn’t overly impressed. “The City” was probably the biggest club I’ve even been to in my life, I think the capacity is like 4000. DJ Tiesto was gonna be there the weekend after we were there. And how cool would that have been? There were other places too, nothing super special.

But hey, it was Can-freakin-cun, and just walking along the main street made you feel like one of the guys from Entourage. (I guess I’d be E, not only cause of the name but also cause he’s the smart one with the hot girlfriend (ok, ex-gf, but who’s counting…))

We rented some speedboats and drove around the mangroves in the lagoon. I didn’t hit anything, but I can’t speak for my friends, haha. We went out to a reef and did some snorkeling, although it was tough in the choppy water, but still nice cause it was warm. There was a shark right close by, but I didn’t actually catch a glimpse of it.

We also went across to the Isla Mujeres, or “Island of Women” – which isn’t as good as it sounds, lol. We rented scooters and cruised the perimeter of the island, drank outta some fresh coconuts which is like the classic island paradise experience.

Another day we took a bus tour down to Chichen Itza, home of some amazing Mayan ruins including the famously iconic pyramid. It was pretty interesting, the Mayans were pretty smart with math (zero ftw!) and astronomy, it was cool to see how they built structures that would indicate when there were equinoxes, solstices, etc. Rather impressive restoration project in general, good to see the place is well taken care of considering its historical significance.

Oh, and note to self: don’t fall asleep wet, wearing only a towel, in a very cold air-conditioned room. You will be sick. I guess you live and you learn…

human after all

But anyhow, here goes some Sheridan-inspired rapid fire on my first month or so in Houston:

Houston is big. Like, really big. So it’s not NYC or Mexico City or anything like that, but it’s still a lot of people, and it shows. The whole highway system is massively complex compared to anything in like Calgary, and (to me at least) often very impressively so. If I had a nice camera (and a helicopter?) I’d take pics of some of the sweet interchanges with multiple flyovers stacked up and crisscrossing mid-air. Of course this also means the traffic can be really bad, but overall I’d say it’s not as bad as I was expecting, whatever that was. I quickly learned what times to leave for / come home from work, and – moreover – what times not to do so.

Like most things in the U.S. (and everywhere…), having more money means immediate reward. I finally got hooked up with an “EZ tag” that lets me take the tollway and it just scans the sticker on your windshield, instead of having to wait in a stupidly long line just to pay like a $1 toll. Although sometimes it’s actually faster not to take the tollway, and to stick to the “feeder” roads that run parallel to it, providing access to the on/off traffic.

Sometimes Americans seem more friendly than Canadians, and sometimes less so. In customer service, there are places where I’ve definitely experienced waaay better service here in Houston than I ever did in Calgary. Take getting that EZ tag for instance. I was expecting like stereotypical DMV bureaucracy. But instead it was superfast, and there was like a dude whose only job (apparently) was to find the right pamphlet for me, and flip it open to the correct page to start. I’d say Houstonian customer service people call me “sir” about half the time, whereas I can’t really remember the last time somebody in a similar position used that term towards me in Alberta. I think a lot of it has to do with the comparative labour markets – you’ve got like 14 yr. old punk high school kids in Calgary making $10/hr. who could get a job anywhere even if they got fired, and then these people in Houston who probably value their jobs a lot more. I dunno, I make these statements with zero hard evidence to support me, but that’s the impression I get at least. One thing is certainly true – the vast majority of customer service people in Houston aren’t white.

I sometimes wonder how I’d be treated here in Houston if I was black or Hispanic? Certainly racial tensions are a lot more palpable than back home. Not that it’s American History X or anything, but still, there’s a whole different vibe. One time I walked into a club and it’s like, oooh, no other white guys in here. Nobody said anything to me, but I didn’t stay long. Oh, and the bouncer there was the most awesome bouncer I’ve ever seen – 350+ lb., 6′4” black guy wearing a black suit, sunglasses, ear piece, and white gloves. Totally like Secret Service.

Been to two Rockets games so far, and I definitely hope to go to more in the next few months. It’s a great experience. I really enjoy watching basketball, NCAA or NBA, and although being there live you miss some of the TV benefits, you get a whole other “entertainment experience”. Unlike NHL, they play music and stuff during the play, instead of just during breaks in action. And there are way cooler acts at halftime. Last time there was this Chinese acrobat, “Red Panda”, who flipped bowls stacked along her leg up to on top of her head while riding on top of a 10′ pole on a unicycle. And the Rockets cheerleaders are ridiculously hot. Seriously, ridiculously. I guess that’s an added benefit of having a larger population? :P

There’s this one cute black cheerleader who does a frontflip dunk off a trampoline during each game, and I think I’m in love with her. Or at least her dunk. It’s freakin’ amazing.

Watching the Rockets on TV is the new watching the Flames game. The only hockey I ever see here is either Dallas or Detroit, and I’m usually not interested enough to watch the whole game. Oh, sometimes there’s the Houston AHL (?) team vs. whocares. Blah. I miss watching Flames hockey. When the playoffs come, I hope I actually get to watch the whole thing. And, hope beyond hopes, not just on NBC. I really don’t like Pierre McGuire – never have, never will. I’m setting my expectations low though, to avoid major disappointment.

My new place is actually pretty nice. Still humourously under-furnished and undecorated, but better than any place I’ve lived in “on my own”. I have my own bathroom which is huge, with his-and-hers (?) sinks, and a massive walk-in closet that makes me feel like a high school girl. I can seriously hang up every single piece of my hang-up-able clothing, with lots of room to spare. The only thing I need a drawer for is underwear and socks.

It’s kinda weird living in a place with a gate that you need to scan a card to drive into. The fences aren’t very imposing, I could easily climb over them myself, but I guess it deters against random people driving around casing our joints.

Houstonian winter weather is the best difference for sure. Almost enough on it’s own to make me seriously consider not moving back. I wouldn’t say that I hate “real” winter, but I’m certainly enjoying the lack of it. At least for now, maybe nostalgia kicks in at some point? I mean, it’s freakin’ February, and I can go outside at night with a t-shirt and shorts. Not everyday, but sometimes. Technically, the same could be said of Edmonton – although the comfort levels involved differ substantially…

Restaurants are way better in Houston than Alberta. You get more food, better food, for less money. Guaranteed. I can see Texan people being shocked at how crappy and expensive our restaurants are in comparison. So ya, if you have Texan friends visiting you in Calgary, don’t try to impress them by taking them out to eat. They will not be impressed. I’m just saying…

Mexican food especially. There is no such thing as good Mexican food in Calgary. I can now attest to that fact. Or, if there is, I’ve never experienced it. Whereas there is literally a plethora of really good Tex-Mex places all over the place here.

I like the fact that lots of places are open 24 hrs., or at least extended hours compared to Canadian standards. Do I want to go buy something at 3am on Saturday morning? Maybe I do! Well, now I can! This is awesome. Carpe noctum!

I secretly find Texan accents mildly amusing. Although I’ll admit it’s quite a functional contraction, I hope I never start using “y’all”. I wonder if people are amused by how I talk? I doubt it. I have that “American Television English” accent that is geographically indeterminable. I could tell people I’m from Ohio or Alaska, California or Florida, and they’d probably believe me. Although I have said “booot” (like “ooot and abooot”) a few times, much to the amusement of others. I’ll have to watch for slip-ups like that if my “marine biologist from Florida” pick-up story is going to work at the bar next time… :P

I should really take advantage of this nice weather and 24 hr. gyms with cheap membership fees and work out or something, do whatever it is normal guys do when they go to the gym (besides checking out the hotties :P). I fully realize that I’m skinny to an almost ridiculous degree, perhaps even beyond ridiculous. As much as a enjoy not being fat, not even the slightest bit fat, it would be nice to outweigh guys within 6” of my height. Of course, I’m also lazy, and moving here hasn’t changed that, so I probably won’t be starting this exercise regime anytime soon.

Oh, there might be an Obama / Clinton debate here in Houston at the end of the month, over at the big convention centre, and I hope I get a chance to actually go in person if I can. I’m sure the crowds will be huge though. But still, I’d like a chance to see something like this in person. I hope Obama wins the presidency. If he wins the nomination, I’m pretty sure he will. I’m not exactly a political pundit, but I really don’t see any way that McCain is going to be the next president. Republicans are screwed for this ‘08 presidential election, and for good reasons. I like Obama’s message and image, and if there’s any substance to his campaign (which, from my naive viewpoint, there appears to be), then I think he could do a lot of good in the White House. Of course, I can’t vote, so it doesn’t really matter what I think, but I might go buy a “got hope?” t-shirt or something. I wonder if that could lead to trouble? Texas might have a really redneck image, but Houston is fairly progressive I think.

I think I should go buy and read Obama’s two books. This would also help my unstated New Year’s resolution to “read 6 books in 2008″, which I have yet to actively pursue. About the closest I’ve come was finishing off a copy of Wired on the airplane on the flight down here. This hardly counts for true literature, although it did have some really nice photos… So now I’ve got to polish something off by the end of the month to keep on pace.

I’m looking forward to March Madness already. Go Tar Heels! Watched the home loss to Duke the other day, it was tragic. I watched the near-upset by Clemson at Chapel Hill today, and I was intensely pissed off to have ESPN switch the feed from the game to some crappy MMA thing at exactly 8pm instead of letting the OT play out. I mean, ok, do you really think that the number of people who are going to tune in, and be like “Oh, hey, 8 seconds to go in OT, tie game, and I want to watch some random fight” are going to outweigh the number of people already watching who are going to be upset that you leave them hanging like that? Apparently so. Blah. Anyhow, the fact that UNC almost lost is still cause for concern, even if the Tigers are rising stars in the NCAA who will (mark my words!) make it to the Big Dance sometime in the next couple years (no more NIT baloney for them).

And now, I sleep.

I wish I could be like all my heroes, I wish I could be like all yours too,