Ya I really don’t blog enough anymore. Not that I ever really updated “frequently”, but it’s been way too long since my last post.

Since then, a lot has happened that I should have blogged about earlier…

I had a really amazing, magical Christmas, definitely one I’ll remember forever. It was the start of a new tradition, and the significance and joy of that resonates with me still. New Years Eve was really special too, and it was the perfect way to celebrate 2008 and welcome the start of 2009. 2008 was a banner year for me, unquestionably the best year of my entire life. It was a year of discovery: I found an exciting new city to move to, a great new career to enjoy, and an amazing, incredible, beautiful woman to fall in love with. And I know that 2009 will be even better, a year of building on the success and happiness of 2008, so I’m looking forward to the rest of the year with unparalleled excitement and anticipation.

There’s a new president in the United States, the guy I’ve been hoping would win for the past couple years. That’s exciting, more so for me than ever before, considering my plans for the future. The whole economic situation freaks me out a bit, to be honest, especially considering my industry and my visa situation. But I’m still very optimistic about my career and my immigration hopes. No matter what happens, the future has so much opportunity, and I intend to seize those chances and make the most of them.

The coming months will be months of transition for me – finally moving to my new city, my new place, my new life. I’m looking forward to it more than I can describe. Yes I love Calgary, my family, my friends here, and what the city has meant to me for my entire life – but at the same time, I’m ready to move on. To move on to new possibilities, new experiences, and to be closer to the most important person in the world to me.

Along the way, I’ll still be blogging, so keep reading. The best is yet to come.

I said oooh, girl, shock me like an electric eel

But in a different way. It’s not something I think about as often anymore. I realize that now. I suppose that’s normal though, healthy even. A coping mechanism, but a beneficial one.

Janet’s death rocked my world, in various ways, but I can’t live my whole life in the shadow of any one event, even something as tragic as the sudden death of a close friend in the prime of her life. And so I’ve “moved on”, in a sense, while still trying to preserve and dignify her legacy, and the memory of our friendship.

But too much introspection here would be selfish, and so instead, one of my favourite Janet-stories:

In grade one, I lived in a Toronto neighbourhood that had a large proportion of uneducated immigrant families. Although many people did not understand a word of English, they nonetheless lovingly attended their children’s school events as often as they could.

One evening, just before a school concert was about to start, the janitor went to the front of the room and reminded everybody to please place their litter into the appropriate garbage bins.

Nobody understood a word he said. Everybody applauded politely.

Miss you Janet. I wish I could still talk to you, a lot has happened in two years. Some things I’m sure you’d jokingly tease me about (uh, moving to Texas) but in other ways you’d be proud of me, happy for me. I know I’d have things to both jest and celebrate about you too.

I owe you a lot. In retrospect, it’s more obvious now than ever. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it at the time, or thank you for it. But I don’t think you realized it either, you were just being you, doing what you did best – being a friend to people who needed one.

You were always a good friend to me, and I’m a better person for having known you. Thank you for that, for everything.

and I’m feeling so

I’m not really sure what I thought I’d accomplish by this age, back when I was like 18 or so. I’ve probably succeeded in most of my “big goal” stuff though:

1. Got my degree – oh how far away that seemed, 6 years ago, when I was just getting into my very first semester, and the initial thrill of campus began to wear off, and the reality of life in first-year engineering began to set in. 8am statics lectures with (now retired) Dr. Brown, who remains one of the greatest teachers I’ve ever had, even though his class was a necessary wake-up call regarding the effort required in engg vs. high school.
2. Got a good job – sometimes I really stop and think about how sweet my job is. Here I am, software developer, working from home. That’s the freakin’ dream. I realize I don’t work for Google or something, but really, I’m getting a great chance to learn, and I’m entrusted with an at-times-shockingly-large amount of responsibility, considering my experience. I’m the lead developer (ok, often the only developer, but still!) on multiple projects of significant importance – my apps need to work, or bad things happen. Sure, if I didn’t do it, somebody else would, but everybody in my group is swamped with their own projects, so they need me to take care of my stuff. I like to think I’m getting pretty good at it – meeting with people, figuring out what they need, and delivering on that.
3. Move out – ok, ok, so I moved out, came back, moved out, came back again, and moving out again as soon as homeland security lets me. Overall though I’ve spent well over 2 years away from home, as a working professional, in cities other than my hometown, so I think that counts for something.

Ok that’s a pretty short list, but I’m not really sure what else I’d hoped to have done in 6 years. I maybe thought I’d get a Master’s degree right away (and thus be done that by now), but I’m glad I didn’t. In my profession, industry experience is more valuable in many ways, or at least the balance between industry and academia needs to be there, as formal methods proves :P

Overall though, “success” is an arbitrary measure – I definitely could have done more with my life thus far, and sometimes regret that I haven’t; I worry that I didn’t do things well enough. But really, there’s nothing I can change about that now, I can only look forward. And hey, the future looks pretty good.

And not just because I’ve accomplished things I set out to do, and because I see a lot of opportunity for myself in the years ahead. I’m legitimately happy, like really amazingly happy, and that is what really brightens my future – and each day.

I’m just thinking ’bout you on this production platform

As another summer slips away, I’m inclined to look back at summers gone by and reflect on how much I’ve enjoyed them. Many of the best times of my life happened during summer, or at least during the years that dominate my memory. I mean, I’ve always enjoyed school as much as the next nerd, but still, during university years September was a wave of rapidly-building stress, culminating in some funny-only-in-retrospect Decembers. (Not to mention that Canadian winters, despite the obvious benefits of winter sports, can be downright nasty.)

So the times before September, before classes restarted, were always among the most enjoyable. Looking back, I think of my trip to Europe in 2002 and that pre-post-secondary sense of both fear and excitement that came with anticipating what university life would really be like, while feeling pretty damn good about yourself for reaching a certain measure of adulthood. 2003 was a great summer, with the Sheridan & Eric show in full swing at General Dynamics, haha. I remember long, long bus/trains rides (office all the way up by the airport!) which gave me plenty of time to read. At that point I was in an Eldredge phase, and I recall deep pauses to reflect on his theories of masculinity/femininity duality and the relational balance between them. That summer also involved some awesome canoeing with Scott, including my introduction to riding rapids, and bailing out on his dad, hahaha.

The Summer of 2004 was a cultural event in Calgary that shall long be remembered, that whole summer was totally awesome. Hockey parties every few days always gave us something to look forward to, and I seem to remember my recently-expanded group of friends hanging out with great frequency. But really, nothing I’ve ever experienced matches how excited the city was over our beloved Flames, a red fever that swept the nation, and helped to affirm Calgary’s ever-increasing importance on the Canadian stage. And my job was pretty sweet too, in a relaxing, peaceful way. Riding my mower around high school fields, driving around town all day checking on junior high schools while listening to jazz on CBC radio, arranging wall ball games with the rest of the “groundskeeper” crew in abandoned schoolyards – these were times of low stress and high introspection. I was completely alone for several hours a day, and I totally enjoyed it.

2005 and 2006 held the summers that framed my Waterloo campaign, the first being filled with a mix of loss and discovery, constraint and freedom, but overall a deep sense of excitement and personal/professional accomplishment. The latter was actually better, again filled with both loss and re-discovery, mistakes and triumphs. And to cap if off, hiking the WCT with Scott, Dan, and Greg was definitely something I’ll never forget.

Last year’s summer, 2007, was monumental in the sense of convocation and that great feeling of being “done school” – finally. But moreover, the sailing trip down under with Wong and Meera was pretty freakin’ sweet, and the Nica trip with Danny was an awesome experience. Starting a “real” job was pretty cool, although in retrospect I often had more responsibility as an intern at RIM than I did as an “intern” at NOV. But hey, I felt pretty good about my job, and the “international” travel opportunities it provided – in the end, leading up to my currently-anticipated emigration from the True North Strong and Free.

This past summer, 2008, was definitely the best summer of my entire life – for entirely different reasons than all the summers before. Houston was so much fun the entire time I was there, and what I consider “summer” in my mind started pretty early based on my Canadian-seasons standards, haha. But really, I got to travel around to cool places, partied (almost) every weekend, and we had waaay more than our fair shair of shenanigans, hahaha. Moreover though, I met amazingly awesome people, and that made all the difference in the world – really, all the difference :)

So now, standing at the edge of a brand-new Fall, I not only look back at summer and smile, but also look ahead with great expectations. I have so, so much to look forward to. Moving to a new city, a new country, a new life. I really enjoy my job, and I’m lucky that it’s pretty secure, given the current economic situation down south. But most importantly, the joy that I have now isn’t going away, it’s continuing on despite summer’s end, growing and blooming in contrast to the leaves falling and grass fading.

Yes, I do love summer, but this year – I think the best times are still to come…

the way the moonlight shined upon her hair

Hey, peoples who read my blog! Something I need to talk to you about!

So, I’m sure you’ve heard about Hurricane Gustav, and how the end result was that New Orleans didn’t end up in chaos like it did for Katrina. But, the hidden story here is that Baton Rouge got pummeled by the storm, and now a lot of people there are pretty screwed. We’re talking like no electricity for weeks, stand in line to get fresh water rations, you can’t go home because a tree fell on your house screwed.

For specific details, you can always check out The Advocate, Baton Rouge’s primary newspaper.

You might wonder why you should care about this. Well, I can’t answer that for you. I really care about this, because Baton Rouge has become a place of extraordinary importance to me. There are people whose well-being I care about who live there, and these people are there in the first place because they’re helping the local community.

So, anything I can do to help them means a lot to me. And thus, anything you can do to help them means a lot to me too.

If you do feel like helping, I’ve been told by expert sources that the American Red Cross is not a great place to donate, and that your money will actually be used to help people if you donate instead to the Baton Rouge Area Foundation. They have a fund for Hurricane Gustav Relief and Recovery, and that money is going directly to help people in the aftermath of this storm.

Also, a special bonus incentive! For anybody who does donate to the Gustav relief effort, if you tell me that you have (and I’ll just believe you because I’m trusting like that), I will take you out for lunch! And someplace nice too! Think of it – the satisfaction of knowing you’re helping people in need, plus a free lunch, PLUS my undivided attention for an hour or so of lunchtime conversation. Now that’s what I call an offer you can’t refuse. (If you live someplace I don’t… rain cheque!)

Seriously – I would immensely appreciate anything that any of you could do to help out Baton Rouge in this time of need. If you want more information, please feel free to contact me.

Thanks everybody!

seekin’ shelter from the storm ]]> http://ethiessen.com/2008/09/05/hurricane-gustav-recovery/feed/ 0 http://ethiessen.com/2008/07/17/cosmic-irony/ http://ethiessen.com/2008/07/17/cosmic-irony/#comments Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:05:18 +0000 Eric http://ethiessen.com/?p=94 So I find myself back in Calgary at the exact time when, more than ever before, I really wish I could still be in Houston.

No offense to my C-town posse (great to see you guys again/eventually), but I’m already looking forward to going back to Texas soon.

I think it’s especially ironic that, a while ago, I was excited about the opportunity to return “home” at some point. But things change ever-so-quickly, and suddenly you find yourself heading away from where you most want to be, instead of towards it.

But hey, despite this ironic scenario I really can’t complain. I’m ridiculously fortunate, on so many levels, and I can’t let myself forget that. And despite futilely wishing I could be in Texas next week, I really do have a lot to be happy about :)

such a strange situation

So my new job title is “Enterprise Developer”. Which I think sounds sweet because it has the word enterprise in the name, although there may be uh, differing opinions on the true job description. Whatever. I’m still looking for the warp core.

Essentially I’ve already been doing this exact job for the past 3 months, although technically my manager will change as I move into the team more devoted to custom development. It still falls under the “Business Applications” umbrella, which is to say that uh, people use our applications for business. Yeah.

Basically we’re the (or, I should say, the best, because there are others) internal software development team for my company. So ya, we develop stuff in-house for our coworkers who need applications to do their stuff. Which is pretty cool because it involves a much closer relationship between developer and end-user than external, third-party software development probably would.

I have some cool projects on-the-go, which is an extremely positive thing. It’s great to be able to go to work everyday and be challenged, but also to learn. I’ll readily admit that I’m still a n00b programmer, especially with the Microsoft technologies popular in the real business world, but these next few years should provide ample experience to hone my skillz. Right now I’m working on a mixed bag including geocoding, workflows, and webforms.

Every week I have meetings with people who need my help – who need me to develop something for them, to solve a problem they have. Their current form system is too inefficient? Bam – workflow time. Their current web app doesn’t meet their needs? Bam – change it all around. Elicit requirements. Design. Develop. Test. Get feedback. Repeat. Real software development. And I totally don’t care that I didn’t recite the exact stages from a classroom model, because really, I don’t use that anyway. Those abstract concepts have their place, to be fair, but this is more quick-paced and small-scale than that.

I guess it’s not the ‘first’ time I’ve been a developer before, but stringing together blocks and wires in LabView to drive RF test equipment was more like being an electrical engineer who needed to know programming than being a true developer. Now, for the first time, I’m part of an applications development team that supports a large number of users, of ‘customers’ – internal though they might be.

Clarke’s Third Law states that “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”. I find this true of software development. Users really don’t understand, nor do they care to, nor do they need to understand how exactly their software works. That’s not their job. Their job is to do whatever it is they do, and use some software in pursuit of that goal. And that’s where I can now come in, as the person who helps ensure they can do their job better by giving them a better tool.

So ya, I’m pretty stoked about the future. I think I’m really going to enjoy this.

even pretty girl like you

Oy, my blog is being steadily engulfed by this Random/RealLife tag cloud at perhaps the exact same rate as my life. No doubt readability is suffering as a result. Like, seriously, who wants to read this drivel? Whatever. It’s past 2am on a Tuesday and I have nothing better to do.

So I was wrong about May, it ended even lower than it began. In fact, it was a solid contender for rolling 6 month low, or something like that. (It’s probably for the best that I don’t have actual data with which to determine such things…)

My emotional construct is perhaps exactly like Jenga. Everything is a bunch of blocks, all stacked up to make a solid structure, steadily Stackenblochen. But the blocks don’t stay that way, they get taken out, and the column of bricks starts to get weaker with ever-increasing fragility. Inevitably, that one fateful block, upon removal, causes the tower to topple over in absolute disintegration.

And taking out that last brick really doesn’t seem like it’s enough to cause that total destruction. I mean, you just took out a whole bunch of other blocks, so why should one more cause everything to fall apart? But that’s the thing, the entire sequence of removal caused the collapse – that last brick was just perfectly positioned to become, by the events preceding it, absolutely necessary to the continued integrity of the tower such that its absence resulted in chaos.

So ya, Jenga. My tower toppled over the weekend. It’s still in pieces on the floor. And I feel like an idiot because there’s no real reason, no single block is really that important, so why the hell did this happen? But I guess that’s the thing – it’s not just one brick, there’s a whole pile of them missing, and that last block was simply the culmination of a sequence that started who-knows-how-long-ago.

But whatever, I’ll rebuild my tower, even as blocks continue to disappear…

breathing fire doesn’t look good on a resume

I’d say I began the month fairly low on the ol’ hows-it-going-ometer, an internal situation which was not improved by converting my emotional distress potential into work energy, a quasi-thermodynamic ability that I’ve readily employed in the past, and continue to default towards. The idea being that the worse I feel about personal stuff, the more effort I devote to school/work.

I think I’m getting better, almost too good actually, at pulling all-nighters between days of full activity. It’s one thing to not sleep and then be really tired the next day, it’s another thing entirely to not sleep and still operate at like ~80% efficiency for another full cycle. Coffee and energy drinks do help, but aren’t necessarily required.

Sometimes, oftentimes in fact, I ponderously compare (my perception of) the internal emotional state of people around me with my own inner workings, and almost always come away with the conclusion that true interpersonal “normalcy” may be forever beyond my reach. I guess it’s the human condition, but I’d really, really like to know what’s going on inside other people, because generally what’s going on between my four walls scares the shit outta me. My emotions, suppressed and generally action-less though they may be, really don’t make sense, nor do they seem to align with what a “normal” person “should” feel.

I almost always feel like I’m faking social interaction, like it’s acting and I’m trying not to look at the camera. I truly wonder if everybody feels this way? I guess I’ll never really know.

May is probably gonna turn out alright though. Just gotta stop and smell the roses…

I’m never alone, I’m alone all the time

I’ve got a few decision-making deadlines whooshing up at me right now. This whole year has gone by superfast, and I won’t have the luxury of postponing some serious considerations for much longer. Do I want to live in Calgary? Edmonton? Houston? Would I consider quitting my job? Do I want to ensure I have an “engineering” job, or do I want to be a “developer” …or something else? Do I really want to become a long-term resident of the United States? And if so, how long is “long-term”?

A lot of these questions flow from one to the next. I actually drew out a decision tree to visualize the various paths I have available. There’s a lot of things to think about when trying to assess the pros/cons of each option: emotional, economic, environmental, esoteric…

I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to do. I have a meeting in < 12 hrs. where I’m supposed to discuss what I’m looking for, and I feel like Bono.

There are other decisions to be made too. Not as obviously imminent, because they’re not career-oriented, and nobody is forcing me to make up my mind before a certain date. But still, time waits for no man. I’d better come up with some final answers.

our future was so bright