April 2008

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The same as it ever was

April 28, 2008 in Random | 1 comment

Sometimes the degree to which I experience patterns of exasperating repetition in the general undulation of my life is almost as shockingly nauseating to me as though they were actually nautical.

*Hurl*

It dawned on me though (or I should say it crunched me – as “dawned” implies a warm blanket of epiphanic light, and this was more like being hit by a free-falling refrigerator) that there can be absolutely no doubt with regards to causality: the variables may change, but the only constant in all my failures is me.

But hey, it’s all good. Instantly solves one problem, and I can totally get another QC shirt. Yes, the only thing I like better than my good friend Irony is finding the silver lining in anything.

And besides, losing is a part of life. At least I don’t play for the Miami Heat.

after all is said and done

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Decisions, decisions

April 22, 2008 in RealLife | No comments

In a certain sense, life is perhaps entirely composed of an endless series of decisions. Consequence is the name of the game.

I’ve got a few decision-making deadlines whooshing up at me right now. This whole year has gone by superfast, and I won’t have the luxury of postponing some serious considerations for much longer. Do I want to live in Calgary? Edmonton? Houston? Would I consider quitting my job? Do I want to ensure I have an “engineering” job, or do I want to be a “developer” …or something else? Do I really want to become a long-term resident of the United States? And if so, how long is “long-term”?

A lot of these questions flow from one to the next. I actually drew out a decision tree to visualize the various paths I have available. There’s a lot of things to think about when trying to assess the pros/cons of each option: emotional, economic, environmental, esoteric…

I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to do. I have a meeting in < 12 hrs. where I’m supposed to discuss what I’m looking for, and I feel like Bono.

There are other decisions to be made too. Not as obviously imminent, because they’re not career-oriented, and nobody is forcing me to make up my mind before a certain date. But still, time waits for no man. I’d better come up with some final answers.

our future was so bright

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Fools Day

April 2, 2008 in Random, RealLife | No comments

So I thought my day was prank free, with the exception of perennial Internet amusements. But then I totally got taken in by a classic facebook teaser, and suddenly, “Arrrowed!” – momentary emotional low.

In retrospect, it was an irrationally stupid feeling. But then suddenly, unexpected emotional high follows! For a similar and almost-as-ridiculous reason, haha, but whatever. As much as I sometimes try, I really can’t control my feelings. Sure, I can control how I express them (somewhat), but when something causes me to feel a sudden pang of loss or spark of happiness, I might as well roll with it.

Even if it does make me a fool.

for the very first time with you

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