January – March travels rapid fire

So I haven’t really bothered to blog a lot of “this is what I did in real life” stuff. Mostly because my old blog was almost entirely composed of such entries, and it kinda got boring for me to constantly rehash activities. The OCD part of my brain refused to let me leave stuff out once I decided to include it, but I was too lazy to blog about events/activities immediately after they happened, so I would build up a chronological backlog of stuff I wanted to post about before I could let myself post about other stuff. And that’s too much like work.

Anyhow, ya, now if somebody expected me to blog about stuff I do, and found no such entries on my blog, they would possibly conclude that I didn’t do anything. Which would sometimes be very close to the truth. But other times it would be exactly the opposite.

So whatever, here goes a rapid fire style summary of my travels over the past 3 months for anybody who’s interested:

Where: New Orleans, LA
Why: Mardi Gras!

So it was the weekend before Mardi Gras proper, but still pretty much crazypartytime down in the Big Easy. Got a lot of beads. There’s no shortage of beads, it literally fills the streets like snow. Every single parade (and there’s tons of them) toss ‘em out like they’re going outta style. It’s like a special currency that applies only to the streets/clubs of Bourbon Street for those few weeks leading up to Fat Tuesday. And by “currency”, I mean you give it to someone to indicate your physical attraction towards them. They might smile back at you, they might show you their boobies – it’s not exactly pegged against a gold standard :P Even girls give it to guys, I distinctly remember this one cute parade-thrower girl atop a float who I charm-smiled, and she pointed right back at me and tossed me some beads. Oooh yeaah, that’s right :P

Saw quite a bit of nudity – which is not necessarily as pleasant as one might expect. The world could be divided (among numerous other divisions) into those who I would (on a purely physical level) want to see naked, and those who I would not. Although a few members of the first category did oblige the crowd’s thirst for flesh, waaay too many people of the latter category did so also …Aaaand we’ll never speak of that again.

I was so close to Kevin Costner (captain of one of the parades) that I could have thrown something and easily hit him. For The Postman. :P

I saw a whole group of people living in tents underneath the interstate in the shadow of the Superdome. I think they’ve probably been there since Katrina. That’s a long time to be living in a tent. Under a highway. In the United States of America.

Oh, I almost forgot about my dance-off with a random chick in this open-air pizza place on Bourbon St. So I’m standing in line, and Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” is blaring on the sound system, and this girl comes up behind me and wants to dance with me. Except instead of dancing with her, it was more of dancing at her. We had like a classic dance-fight, imitating each other’s movements with increasing complexity. She was actually cute too. And drunk. Definitely drunk…

Where: Austin, TX
Why: 6th Street nightlife

So I haven’t exactly been to every corner of the Lone Star state (yet?), but I’m already going to say that Austin is the coolest place in Texas. Not only cause it’s like the tech capital of the south, but also cause it’s got an attitude, atmosphere, and aura (alliteration ftw!) that’s decidedly more edgy and liberal than say Dallas or Houston. The 6th Street area of downtown (akin to Calgary’s 17th Ave. or Edmonchuck’s Whyte Ave., only way better) is really cool – just like a row of bars, clubs, and restaurants all together, goes on for blocks. You don’t like the place you’re at? You’ve got a dozen other places within 1 min. walking distance.

So we didn’t realize how big of a deal the Austin marathon, held that weekend, was going to be. Apparently it’s a big deal. We had to switch hotels three nights in a row cause everything was booked up by marathon runners. Hah, but I used the race to my advantage! Using my real backstory when talking to randoms at like a club isn’t always that interesting for me, so I just pretended I came down from Canada just to run the marathon. This was an especially amusing story when telling people the night before the marathon (which started at like 8am or something) at like 2am (”Uh yeah, you know… I never sleep the night before a marathon…”). It might sound bad, but I really don’t mind lying to random people about random crap like where I’m from or what I’m doing, especially if it makes conversation easier. I guess I can be a real douchebag sometimes :P

Speaking of which, at one point my travel buddies convinced me (liquid courage goes a long way) to march up to and start a conversation with this one girl who was pretty much the best-looking lady in the entire club. Turns out she was already married, haha. But hey, that made it a lot easier. I probably talked to her for like 10 min. They were very impressed. I’m not sure if she was being legitimately friendly or just too nice to tell me to piss off, but either way it was a good boost of confidence.

There was also this one other pretty brunette who I’m half-sure would’ve gone home with me (euphemisms ftw!) if I’d asked her, which I didn’t. Yup, the ol’ marathon man story goes a long way… :P

Three dudes sharing a bottle of wine at a fancypants restaurant earned us the comment from the waitress that we must be “very confident in our masculinity”. Hah, my buddy replied with a joke about us being on a “man-date”. I didn’t realize blended wines even existed, but apparently they do – it’s like a mix of white and red, ends up being a pale red colour. And surprisingly good, and I don’t even really like wine that much. Next time I have to buy wine for something, I’m gonna look for it.

I walked around downtown Austin, under the lights of the Texas Capitol building, for like an hour by myself in the middle of the night. It was cool. Oh, there’s also this awesome building in downtown Austin (Frost Bank Tower) that totally looks like something out of Gotham City. Apparently it’s supposed to look like an owl? Whatever.

Where: Dallas, TX
Why: Stars vs. Canucks

We didn’t get to see too much of Dallas, but it reminds me a lot of Calgary.

It was good to see a live NHL game again. I really hope Flames and Stars face off in the playoffs so that I can go watch a game I actually care about. But still, the game was pretty exciting with 3 unanswered goals being traded back-and-forth in sequential periods before Vancouver sealed the deal. There was a penalty shot too, which is always cool to see live.

The American Airlines center is so much nicer than the Saddledome it’s not even funny. I realize now why the Flames ownership talks about a new stadium, albeit quietly.

Caught the tail end of St. Patty’s day celebrations, in that the streets were trashed and all the drunk people were wearing green.

The one cool club we saw in Dallas was “Purgatory”, with multiple, differently-themed floors following a pattern you can probably guess already (”Heaven” at the top, etc.) It was pretty gangsta though, I distinctly remember being on the dance floor, the only white guy within sight, trying to get my funk on. Hahaha, oh man, it’s even more funny cause I’m definitely white even for a white guy. Being Canadian doesn’t help, we’ve got zero street cred down here.

Speaking of which, classic “yup, I’m white” moment at said club: this song comes going on about “my dougie”, and my friend says aloud to me “What’s a dougie?” This black guy turns to us and goes “It’s a haircut”. Which may actually be true in some local jargon, but I’m pretty sure he was screwing with us. Haha, can’t blame him, I probably would’ve done the same. “Toque? Uh yeah… it’s Canuck slang for a hamburger. Ask for it at any Canadian restaurant, they’ll know what you mean…”

Where: Cancun, Mexcio
Why: Spring Break!

It’s been several years since I was last in Mehico, but this is way different. Cancun is one of those superamazingnice places in the world that floats in its own plane of existence. It amazes me to realize that 30 years ago there was nothing there but a small village and a few hundred locals. Today, it’s over-commercialized and overrun with Americanism. Still, even though it was super-expensive, it was a fun trip.

Our hotel was pretty pimp, we had like a jacuzzi on our balcony overlooking the ocean. Private beach was nice too, the water is that postcard-perfect turquoise colour and definitely the warmest ocean I’ve ever experienced in my life.

There were actually way fewer white people than I was expecting. I figured hey, spring break, it’s gonna be overrun with American college kids. Sure there were lots of em, but not nearly as many as I was anticipating. Lots of wealthy Mexicans though.

I can’t even remember how many different clubs we went to. “Senor Frogs”, of course, although I wasn’t overly impressed. “The City” was probably the biggest club I’ve even been to in my life, I think the capacity is like 4000. DJ Tiesto was gonna be there the weekend after we were there. And how cool would that have been? There were other places too, nothing super special.

But hey, it was Can-freakin-cun, and just walking along the main street made you feel like one of the guys from Entourage. (I guess I’d be E, not only cause of the name but also cause he’s the smart one with the hot girlfriend (ok, ex-gf, but who’s counting…))

We rented some speedboats and drove around the mangroves in the lagoon. I didn’t hit anything, but I can’t speak for my friends, haha. We went out to a reef and did some snorkeling, although it was tough in the choppy water, but still nice cause it was warm. There was a shark right close by, but I didn’t actually catch a glimpse of it.

We also went across to the Isla Mujeres, or “Island of Women” – which isn’t as good as it sounds, lol. We rented scooters and cruised the perimeter of the island, drank outta some fresh coconuts which is like the classic island paradise experience.

Another day we took a bus tour down to Chichen Itza, home of some amazing Mayan ruins including the famously iconic pyramid. It was pretty interesting, the Mayans were pretty smart with math (zero ftw!) and astronomy, it was cool to see how they built structures that would indicate when there were equinoxes, solstices, etc. Rather impressive restoration project in general, good to see the place is well taken care of considering its historical significance.

Oh, and note to self: don’t fall asleep wet, wearing only a towel, in a very cold air-conditioned room. You will be sick. I guess you live and you learn…

human after all