Reminisce pt. 2

So I was planning on actually getting > 4 hrs. of sleep tonight, for once on a weeknight.

That didn’t happen.

Instead I read through a bunch of my old chat logs with Janet. (Ya, I save stuff like that.) I really do miss her. She was definitely one of my greatest friends ever. One of a kind. Irreplaceable. Unforgettable.

Reading through all those lines of IM reminded me (again) just how much of a great friend she was to me. She shared lots of good advice about topics I still know very little about: life, women, relationships, preparing for the inevitable zombie uprising… the list goes on.

I wish I could still talk to her, get her opinion, listen to her stories, share my own. She was incredibly insightful and quick-witted, conversations with Janet were never dull. Looking back, I’m almost surprised how much she shared with me about her own life. I basically spilled my guts to her rather regularly because I valued her insight very highly, and because she was really the only person I could talk to about certain things. But she cared about my advice too, even though I was often speaking from a position of, well, complete inexperience. That was one of the (many) inherently noble characteristics of Janet – she made you feel like you mattered. She made me feel like I mattered, which is no small feat for those who know me (low self-esteem ftw!)

Of all the parallel universes my mind sometimes travels to, definitely the most frequently visited one is in alternate-future Waterloo/Toronto where I move back there, Janet’s still alive, everybody is happy, and life is awesome for all of us. We all go out to Abstract and Phil’s all the time, and I have appropriate attire for both :P

Janet was definitely the catalyst that shook me out of my Waterloo doldrums and initiated some of the absolute best times in my entire life. I’ll always be grateful to her for looking out for me, like a big sister, and dragging me out to events on nights I would have otherwise spent at Azeroth or Kubra Dam.

I almost can’t believe she’s been gone for a whole year. I still can’t imagine what it must be like her family. I hate feeling so powerless to help them at all. If I lost my brother, I’d be devastated. And from an external viewpoint, we probably don’t even seem that “close”. But he’s my brother, and to lose him would be… unspeakable.

Anyhow, well, it’s 3am and this post isn’t getting any happier. I’ll end with something more positive. This is still my favourite picture of Janet:

Hehe, that dude is Courtney Taylor-Taylor, one of her favourite rockstars. The juxtaposition still makes me smile.

Rest in peace Ja. <3

but it’s of her I dream